Going home and returning to Japan 2010

This time of the year, Thanksgiving-Christmas is always tough for me. Holidays are just not the same without my mom but each year it does get easier. I usually look forward to this time breezing by but I have managed to take it in and get into the spirit.

The season started with my trip back to the states. That was truly a gift to myself. I had not been home in a long while and I enjoyed my time immensely. I landed in Chicago, spent a few days there with my friends, LaMonica and the INROADS crew, Monica, Ian and the twins, Kim and my old friend, Yarb's aunt, Liz. They showed me a good time and I loved being in Chicago.

Next stop, Cleveland. My sorors and friends showed me much love. The Delta's scholarship dance was my opportunity to surprise and see Greater Cleveland Alumnae chapter. What a treat that was. It was so good to be in their midst. Days later, some of the sorors got together and we went out to dinner, just to catch up and enjoy each other's company. Some of my sorors from Akron, Virginique, Ramona and Denise dropped in to see me with two bundles of joy.




My dad was able to come in town from Cincinnati and spend Thanksgiving with me. We went to my good friend Cassandra's and enjoyed the day with her family. The food was plentiful and good. It was nice having him around, although I fuss at him, I do it out of love and concern. I let him know that. I was also able to spend a morning visiting my INROADS "mom", Jacque. It was good to catch up with her and have lunch at Melange. That was a treat.


The icing on the cake was my game night at the house. I was able to spend time with my closest friends and boy did we have a great time. My last guest left about 2:30 a.m. I must mention, we played taboo, guys against the girls and we kicked butt!







The day before I left, my friend Kathryn treated me to the bball game, Cavs vs. Celtics. Although I was hoping for a Cavs win, the Celtics did them in. Wasn't so bad given I like the players on the Celtic team. KG is one of my favorite players. It was good to be back in the Q, watching basketball is something I miss living in Japan. That was a fun night.


The things I missed, I was able to take in. My church home, NCBF, Garrett's popcorn, Cheesecake factory, Beachwood Mall, TJ Maxx and Marshalls and my house. My trip home was bittersweet. Sweet because I was able to return to what I missed most and bitter because I had to leave it all behind. Being away for a year and a half, living in Japan has taught me that there is no place like home, no place like family and friends, no place like the U.S.

Going Home

It has been been 3 months since I have written a post. I know, I know, I know. Why and what have I been up to? I have been quite busy. This past summer, 2010, I decided to do something that I have been wanting to do for sometime, go back to graduate school to work on a certificate in Human Resources. I have always enjoyed the field of HR but have no formal education so I thought a certificate coupled with my experience would give me an edge if and whenever I formally enter the field. To say the least, it has taken up a lot of my time, kept me quite busy and challenged me but I have thoroughly enjoyed the program. Juggling my work, class and sorority schedule/commitments has kept my hands full. In between time, I have been able to get a break here and there but not much. I will be finishing up my third class in a couple of weeks and have 2 more classes to go! I see the light. I will officially be finished at the end of summer 2011. YES!

In the meantime, all is well here in Okinawa. My job continues to be a challenge for me but I still enjoy it. My biggest challenge is managing faculty. I won't go into that but I will say, I'm learning something new everyday when it comes to working with folks from all ages and walks of life. I know it will make me stronger and more prepared for my next level career opportunity.

I have not been back to the states since Aug 2009 and I'm so excited to be returning in 3 days. I will first spend a couple of days in Chicago and see friends there. I'm excited about that and excited to get one of my favorite snacks, Garrett's Popcorn! :-) I suppose I will bring some back to share the goodness with friends here. To do that is big for me because I usually don't share my Garrett's popcorn. If you tasted it, you would understand why.

I will then head to Cleveland Hts., back home. I will be staying at my house on Greyton, which I really miss so it will be truly like coming home. I will arrive just in time to attend the Delta's annual Red Hot Scholarship Dance. What timing. When I found out about it, I changed my flight to come in one day early. I thought it would be the ideal way to see folks that I probably would not get a chance to see. I'm very excited about that. I will also get a chance to see my father for a few days. He will travel from Cincinnati and spend Thanksgiving with me and friends.

I will be in the states for about 2 weeks. The time won't be long enough and I hope that I won't feel too sad to leave. Most folks have told me that when they return to the states for a visit, they are always ready to return back to Japan. We shall see if this will be true for me. I only hope to be able to see and do everything that I miss most: friends and family, Target, TJ Maxx, the Mall, did I say shopping, driving on two lane streets, tv commercials, Cheesecake factory, picking up my cell phone to call friends and family and winter/fall clothes.

I will do my best to not let so much time go by again before my next post. I will share my experience during my trip to Hong Kong.

First Year Anniversary

Boy how time flies. I can not believe that it has been a year since I landed on Japanese soil. When I first learned about the job here, it was surreal, no way did I ever imagine that such an opportunity could come my way. When I received the offer and accepted, I had to sit down because again, I could not believe it.

When I finally arrived, it was surreal and that remained for several months. A year into my bless filled journey, it is now real. It actually feels like home. As I sit in my Japanese apartment, away from the world outside, it really seems as if I'm in any city in the U.S. It is not until I step outside that I am reminded that I'm in Japan. Driving down the road on the left side of the street, getting into the car on the right side, the buildings and signs with Japanese words, faces that don't look like me, constant reminders that I'm in Japan.

To my surprise, it took me longer than I imagined to become homesick. It wasn't until the 6 month of my journey that I had a longing for home. That yearning didn't last long but 5 months later, the longing returned. I'm happy to say that I will return for a visit to Chicago (November 17-21) and Cleveland in November (Nov 21-Dec 2).

Upon my arrival, my job was probably the biggest challenge. What a learning curb. I would have to say that it is the most challenging job that I have ever had. A good challenge. In my 6 month, I finally felt more confident and competent. It is funny to hear folks describe me when I first came. One person said I looked like a deer in headlights, another didn't think I would last. Boy did I prove them wrong. My constant prayer early on was "God, I know you didn't bring me all the way here to fail, give me the strength to succeed". Working at UMUC has been my "next level opportunity" for sure. I have so much responsibility. Overseeing an entire region is a lot to take on. It has also allowed me to take advantage of returning to graduate school, for FREE. Once I am finished, I hope to begin learning the language of the land.


The things or people that made my stay here less lonely and more like home are my sorority sisters, yes Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. is here. We actually have a chapter in Okinawa, Tokyo and Korea. We are everywhere, I say with pride. Having our brother fraternity has been good too. Hanging out with them has been good. The military has been a lifesaver. Of course, my purpose for being here starts with them. UMUC provides undergraduate education to the military personnel. Although I work for the University, I'm contracted by the Dept. of Defense, which gives me SOFA (Status of Forces Agreement) status, access to all the military bases. Why this is such a privilege is because Americans are everywhere so I get a semblance of home. I can shop at an American commissary for my groceries. I love Asian food but I don't want to eat it everyday. I can go to American movies on base and shop at the BX tax free. Entertainment, mostly free, is available on most of the bases. I've had my share of concerts,my last one was Erykah Badu, comedians, spoken word poetry and wine fests.

I know if I didn't have access to the military bases, I don't think I could stay here long. Not being able to speak the language would be difficult, eating the food everyday would be a challenge and lastly, getting to know the locals would be tough. I live among Japanese people but don't interact much with them. Not by choice, but mostly because of the language and culture barrier. I do thankfully have the opportunity to interact with the locals through work, our staff and professors.

Being in Asia has been great. It allows me to travel and see this part of the world. I have been to Tokyo and Korea. In September, I will be heading to Hong Kong with friends and Korea again for work and play. I hope to take another trip during the Christmas holiday. Australia, Mt. Fuji and Singapore are on my list of places to visit. What a wonderful opportunity to see this side of the world. The cultural events and food have been wonderful. Asian cuisine is my favorite so I get to explore a lot of different kinds of Asian foods while here.

Everyone asks me how long do I plan to be here and my answer is pretty much the same before I arrived, 2-3 years. Truthfully, I really have no idea. What I do know is that I don't want to return with the job market as is. I can't imagine coming home to unemployment so when I do return, it will be to a job. I'm asked too, where will I return. Although I still have my home in Cleveland and my great friends, the thought of returning to bone chilling weather just doesn't sit well with me. Where I will end up and when, only God knows. I leave it in His hands. He has ordered my path and I will continue to let him lead me.

One Year Anniversary


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Oh the Beauty of Japan

In my very limited spare time, I have had the opportunity to take in the sites and culture of Japan. This is one thing that I need to commit more to doing. Okinawa is a lovely island, the place where many mainland (Tokyo) Japanese escape to for vacation, much like Americans who escape to the Caribbean.




Okinawa is a small, quiet laid back place. It has taken some adjustments for me because although I am from Nebraska, I am city girl at heart. I love big cities because of the excitement, culture and entertainment it offers.






Before I came here, many would say that Okinawa is the Hawaii of the US. Upon my arriving, I didn't quite understand. It wasn't until I ended up on a road off the beaten path, well, uh, lost I should say, and discovered the beauty of the place I now call home.


So I invite you to enjoy the photos and perhaps it may inspire you to consider visiting me here in Japan. I welcome all visitors, giving you the opportunity to take in the beauty of the little island called Okinawa.

Made in the USA

It has been 9 months since landing on Japanese soil. Before I came here, I said that I will finally find out if the slogan "there's no place like home" or there's no place like the USA" is true. I concur with both statements. It always takes leaving home to appreciate what you have. The grass is not always greener. It reminds me of when I left Nebraska and Ohio. When living in both places, for a period of time, I was ready to move on to bigger and better things. Moving to Ohio soon gave me an appreciation for my home state, the Midwestern, down to earth upbringing that I had. Once I moved to Cleveland, I did embrace the city more than others and appreciated the diversity, culture and friends that the city offered. I think my attitude and approach stemmed from the things that Nebraska lacked, hence, why I left.

Now that I'm living in Japan, I do miss the comforts of home. I live in an environment that offers two very different cultures; the Japanese and the military. Because these environments are so different from what I am used to, I miss home even more and get so excited when I see anything that reminds me of the USA.


The military culture is great to have access to because the bases are like mini U.S. cities. They offer the common comforts of home; the commissary (an American grocery store), chain restaurants (Chili's, Macaroni Grill, Subway, Burger King, Popeyes, Dunkin Donuts and Pizza Hut)and the BX (American Dept. Store). For those who don't fancy the Japanese food or clothing, the bases are a life saver. Many of the clothing stores don't fit average Americans and the food is a bit different from what we are used to. Although I love Asian food, I don't love it everyday so thank goodness for the commissary.

Off base, the Japanese have acquired some made in the USA companies. The fast food restaurants are ones you can't get on base. There is McDonald's, KFC, Baskin Robbins and Shakey's Pizza.









I seem to get most excited when I see American made cars. It just reminds me of home because the cars here are so different. I have seen Cadillac cars and SUVs, P.T. Cruisers, Chrysler 300s and Mustangs. Who knew, me, a loyal Toyota driving consumer would be so excited about made in the USA cars.






Other reminders of home are in my neighborhood. There is one Shell gas station down the road and I live across the street from a Coco Cola warehouse.

I'm looking forward to a visit back home soon. The opportunity to put my feet on US soil is something I'm excited about. In the meantime, I will enjoy the little reminders of home here in Japan.

The food of Japan

When I think of the food here, it reminds me when my soror Mylayna said that if she comes to visit, she would have to bring an extra suitcase with food. What I got from that is that Japanese food is not her favorite. Coming to Japan, I knew that I would not have a problem because Asian cuisine happens to be my favorite; Chinese, Japanese, Indian and Thai. Love it. Although I enjoy the food, I don't wish to eat it everyday. I'm fortunate that I have access to the military bases which means I can shop at the commissary where American food is plentiful. Also on base, there are several American fast food restaurants (Subway, Popeyes, Burger King, Macaroni Grill, Chili's, Charley's and Pizza Hut). Off base, there is McDonalds, KFC Tony Roma's and Shaky's.

Okinawa food is a bit different from traditional Japanese food. Well traditional in the sense of what we Americans view as Japanese food, sushi, tempura or the restaurants where they cook your meal in front of you with fancy knife tricks. The most popular dish is known as Soba. It was my first introduction to Okinawan food. It is a dish that consists of noodles in a broth that is often accompanied with pork or beef.

One thing that I initially had to get used to, like most Americans is the food portion. I think that many of us can conclude that when we eat Chinese food, after about an hour, you might end up hungry again. Here, the portions are usually small. Many of the restaurants that I have been to offer small dishes to share. Some of the restaurants that I enjoy are the Tuna House, Garlic House and Curry House. Fortunately for Americans though, some of the restaurants do try to cater to our healthy appetites and provide more food than what they are accustomed to. One thing however they don't cater to is our need to enjoy our food in a smoke free environment. I guess this would be my only complaint when it comes to dining here.

The presentation of the food is always exquisite, very appetizing. The time and attention given is clearly evident. It almost makes you not want to dive in. But you must because every bite will likely be a new experience. I'm daring when it comes to food and will try almost anything. I want to experience all there is to offer when it comes to the culture and food of Japan.

Men in Japan

From the moment that I announced that I was coming to Japan and that I would be working with the university on a military base, it seems the first thing that came to most people's minds was that I would find a husband.
I have also gotten teased about returning to the states with a Japanese man in tow. Not that I'm not open to this idea, but I tell people that if I do return to the states with a husband, it would likely be with an American. In Okinawa, there are 9 military bases. I work on the Air Force base and live 10 minutes from the Army base, both of which are crawling with American men. Because I am contracted by the Department of Defense, my time and interaction is probably 99% with Americans.

The purpose of coming here is to embark on a new, exciting career opportunity. That was, has been and still is my focus. I must say, that me being here is truly a blessing from God and whatever His plan is on this journey, I will welcome and embrace it. I after all, allow Him to order my steps.

Since being here for 6 months now, I continually get asked the question from friends back home about the men here and have I met any potential suitors. As a result, I felt it was time to finally answer. I hope what I share will calm everyone's curiosity and put these questions to rest. This is my personal view, an overall picture of the military environment and the city of Okinawa.

In a conversation I had with my boss, a brotha, he informed me (which I already knew) that men here don't have to do much because the native women cater to them in such a way, the roles have been reversed, in terms of the chase and the "traditional" role that we are accustomed to men playing. The native women go to extremes to do whatever is necessary, by any means, to attract and keep the American men. I would consider this place to be a man's paradise when it comes to the local women. They are having their cake, pie, cookies and eating it too. My new environment reminds me of what I experienced back in the day in college at the U of Nebraska (Leroy and Susie, now it's Leroy and Yoshi), same scenario. Living here also reminds me of moving to new cities (the cliques). It ain't easy. I feel like an outsider, I am an outsider. Trying to navigate my way in this new world, way of life and way of thinking is challenging to say the least.

Now, on to my observations of the men; Military, Black, Native, White, Married, Young, Celebrity.

Military Men. One thing that is very important to share about military life, it is a world, mindset and has a way of its own. In a conversation with a couple of guys, both of whom are in the military, I was so enlightened that what was shared never crossed my mind. I felt it is necessary to give their viewpoint to help people understand the environment that I'm in. Although I'm surrounded by men, mostly military men, it must be realized that they live lives of temporary circumstances. How they handle it varies but for many, getting close to people is difficult because for the most part, their time in a specific location is short. Trusting others and allowing people into their world can be a challenge so some choose not to engage or keep relationships superficial, surface. Some come with baggage, meaning, wives and kids back home in the states. This information is not always revealed. To live a life in this way, I can't imagine because the world military folks live in, albeit temporary, it is their life none the less.

Brothas. Brothas are brothas, different country, same story. No need to go into details or say more. I have caught the eye of several good looking brothas but I have found for the most part, unless I assert myself, it just becomes a casual conversation, a nod or smile in passing. I have had the pleasure of meeting a couple of pretty cool single guys, have gone out and enjoyed their company. At this point, my focus is friendship because I miss having close male companionship. Not that some of these guys that I speak of are not worthy of more, I'm just in a space right now that seek friendship first. If more comes of it down the road, no predictions, I will welcome whatever is meant to be. I will try not to resist.

Native Men. Because of the language and cultural barrier, it is hard to tell what is on their minds when I am in their presence. I have been told that some Japanese men do fancy African American women but because of the inability to speak English, it is difficult to approach. I will say, I have seen them staring, while driving in the car, in stores, or just walking down the street but I don't know if it is out of curiosity or interest. On base, there are Japanese construction workers that I pass each morning as I walk into work. As I pass, there is always one or two gazing with smiles. I return the smile, bow and greet them good morning in Japanese. On another occasion, while at a hotel restaurant, a group of men, clad in biker gear, pointed, stared, laughed and continued to do so until they left.

I must admit, I have not been attracted to many of the native men that I see. A lot are small in frame and short in stature. I have also noticed that some have taken on feminine regiments, such as arching their eyebrows, carrying (man) purses and preoccupying their time with their hair. This I have noticed among the younger guys. Smoking is very common among the Japanese. I can't tolerate the smoking and it is a turn off.

Good looks come in all ethnic races. When I do see a Japanese man that I find good looking, I do find myself staring. I hate to admit, unfortunately, it is rare here in Okinawa. Tokyo I'm sure will be a different story.

White Men. One thing that I have learned, the military is very diverse and interracial relationships and marriages are common. Interestingly enough, to my surprise, it is common among black women and white men. I have heard that in the US, the percentage of black women marrying outside of their ethnic group is on the rise. It is very visible and evident here. I used to jokingly say that I'm attracted to white men but the ones I find myself attracted to are on television or the big screen. I didn't see many walking the streets of Cleveland. Now, New York, Chicago, maybe. On the bases of Okinawa, all the time! I don't know if it is the uniform or the buzz cuts but I find myself in an admiring gaze, more often than not. I have noticed on several occasions gazes returned.

Married Men. They are everywhere. It seems that the military promotes marriage. It makes sense. In this environment, having a family is ideal when living with the stresses that being in the military brings. Unfortunately, extra marital affairs are common. I am a magnet to married men. I always seem to be approached by them, to my dismay. One guy offered his number to me as a gesture of friendship when he learned that I was new to the island. I accepted the number and trashed it on the way out the door. Another, caught me off guard during an official office visit as he took a double take and told me how beautiful I was. I was naturally flattered because it came from such a good looking brotha. My first instinct though was to look for a ring and to my surprise and disappointment, a nice shiny band.

Young Men. They too are everywhere. Not a surprise. Most of the men who are lost in the war are 19-20 something. For those of you who know me well, know I am also a magnet to young guys. Not sure why, maybe because my age doesn't match my appearance and perhaps because younger men seem to love and appreciate older women. It has become the norm thanks to Ashton and Demi. I must say, I do seem to prefer younger men, within age reason . Their generation brings about a different attitude and approach when it comes to dating. They seem to be more confident and adventurous, something that I appreciate and welcome. Some of my good male friends are my young brothas.

Celebrity Men. I just had to mention the male singers that I have had the opportunity to see while here in Japan. Dwele, Eric Benet and J. Holiday. They are surely worth mentioning because all in all, when I speak of men, the time I spent with Dwele and meeting Eric makes the top of my list to date.

People come into your life for a reason, season and a lifetime. Whatever the case, I approach beyond the superficial. So, to my hopeful friends that believe that he is here, only time will tell. Only God knows. I will stay open and embrace what is to come. As I took a leap of faith and came to Japan, I will do my best to do the same with the men in Japan.

Getting around in Japan

One of the things I'm starting to do is venture out a bit more in Japan. Yes, that means creating a social life. Now that I'm settling in more and learning my job, I have more time.

During the holiday season, I have been off for 8 days. The Christmas weekend, my friend/soror Nicole and I spent time in Naha. Naha is considered the downtown area of Okinawa. If you venture to Naha, one will find a more exciting part of the island. It truly looks like a large city. Because I only spent time passing through on my way to the airport, I wanted to check it out. We stayed at a nice hotel called the Loisir.
Day one, we drove around the city and dined at a nice restaurant that looked like a giant tree house. The food was really good. Steak, a salad, soup and desert bar for about 13 yen. That is really cheap for all that we ate.










Day two, the hotel had a really nice spa and yes we did indulge. Following the spa, we found a really nice outlet mall. It had some of the stores Americans would recognize, 9 west (yes, I finally found a shoe store that carried my 8-81/2 shoe size), coach, among other high end designer stores. Prices at outlet stores here are really high. Shopping in Japan has been a challenge. Clothes and shoe sizes are for small framed women. Occasionally I can find something that fits or fashion that I like. There are some Japanese stores, high end that have some fabulous fashions, different from what I see at home. Most stores though, the clothes are low end, cheap and trendy, bordering on tacky. A lot of the clothes seem to cater to the night club goers or night dancers.








Later in the evening, my boss ventured to Naha and showed us around the bar scene. When I say bar, I think that is the norm here opposed to a club. It is all about the music. We went to 3 bars that played old school R & B. It was incredible to hear the music that I grew up with and watch Japanese dee jays play albums at our request. I asked one dee jay (who barely spoke or understood English) to play a specific Mary J. Blige song that she sampled from Barry White. He actually found it. I could not believe it. The last bar we went to was actually called Black Harlem/Soul Bar. As we walked in, you can hear the great music and I'm expecting to find a room full of brotha's and sista's but what we found were Japanese men singing and jamming to the music. One even grabbed me and Nicole to join them to dance and dance we did! It as fun.

Day three, we had a fabulous buffet brunch at the hotel. I seemed to be an attraction to the 8 or so Japanese biker/punk guys that pointed and stared. They said a few words among themselves, what I don't know and kept staring until they left. Not sure what that was all about.

The last stop on our adventure in Naha was Kokusai Street. It is called the Miracle Mile. If you have ever been to NY Chinatown, it somewhat reminds me of that area but not as many interesting things to buy. It has a huge indoor market where you can buy just about anything that you can imagine at a market, clothes, food, flowers etc. It is like the Westside Market in Cleveland times 5.

I really enjoyed Naha and plan to venture downtown more often to see what there is more to explore. For those of you who plan to visit me here, get ready because it will be a place to see.